Abandoned Parents

Many people are aware of the issue of abandoned children, but how many people are aware of abandoned parents, i.e. parents who have been abandoned by their adult children?

When a parent is left out of the life of an adult child, the parent is left with the feeling of being stabbed in the heart.

The occurence of grown-up adult children abandoning a parent or parents is more common than is realized by many people. It is difficult for any parent in such a situation, but is even more difficult for older parents aged 60 and over because of the already prevalent feelings of aloneness, loneliness, and/or social isolation that hits older adults.
Read When children abandon their parents from the website of Starts at 60.

I hope you have read each of the articles above to which I have placed embedded links.
Here is a thought-provoking except from another article that I have read online:

Hardly anything is more heartbreaking than having one or more of our adult children simply disappear from our lives for no apparent reason. Yes, it seems inconceivable but it happens a lot more often than we think. The cruel grief of such a loss is often more than any of us parents can bear. Even the idea of such losses sounds absurd and can send most of us packing. The sadness and possible shame we bear is not something we discuss idly with fellow parents, many of whom are enjoying seemingly rich connections to their adult kids and grandkids.

Go on over to read the entire article, Unspeakable: When our Adult Children want Nothing to do with us.

When Adult Children ‘Divorce’ Their Parents is yet another interesting article I read on the internet. You may read that entire article by following the embedded link contained within its title. Here are some excerpts from that article:

Papers aren’t filed, and no judge hears the case, but more and more adult children are divorcing their parents, often completely cutting off contact. What’s driving the increase in parent-child estrangement? Professionals who work with families have some ideas, and thousands of individuals have shared their experiences online.
… parents who are estranged are older than one might expect, with over one-third falling into the 70-80 age group.
… Reasons for conflicts with adult children vary. Some adult children have severed relationships with parents due to traumatic childhoods: They were abused or grew up with parents who were alcoholics or drug users.
Occasionally, family disputes have erupted over money. In the majority of cases, however, the reasons for estrangement are not so clear cut. Still, certain themes occur over and over in commentary from adult children who have divorced their parents.
“You Weren’t a Good Parent.”
“You Broke Up Our Family.”
“You Still See Me as A Child.”
“We Don’t Have the Same Values.”
“You’re a Toxic Person.”

It seems that this type of thing of adult children “casting parents aside” was much less prevalent in preceding generations. I am of the opinion that people from my generation and those preceding me had closer relationships with their parents.  I am so glad that throughout my life, I initiated and maintained contact with my parents and grandparents (now long ago deceased, may they rest in peace) on a regular and frequent basis. While I know there are exceptions, it seems to me that, generally speaking, more often than not, young and middle-age adults today pretty much exclude their parents.

In 2015, actor J. K. Simmons won his first Oscar for his role in the movie “Whiplash.”
In an unusually moving personal moment at the Oscar ceremonies, during his acceptance speech, Mr. Simmons encouraged viewers to call their parents if they have any living ones remaining. He stated, in part:
“Call your mom, call your dad. If you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call them.
Don’t text, don’t e-mail.
Call them on the phone. Tell them you love them and thank them and will be to them for as long as they want to talk to you.”

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Share if you are against bullying!

I am sharing the video, Share if you are against bullying! via Tapoos.

To view the video in a new browser window, open this embedded link.

That video really hits home with me.

I remember a previous Roland’s Ramblings of February 2, 2011, in which I wrote, in part:

As a young child, I was taunted and called names by other children, as most of us have experienced. Heck, throughout my adult life, I have been taunted and called names.

But you know what? Now, even in my older adult years, people are still calling me nasty names, taunting me, and belittling me in a bullying-type manner; but nowadays, those gutless wonders, those less-than-intelligent people, do not have the courage to do so to my face. Now, they do their name-calling and engage in bully tactics on the internet, places like Facebook and blogs and internet bulletin boards and so on and so forth.

I was reminded of that entry and other writings I have posted on the topic of bullying in a variety of places on the internet, including the Roland’s Ramblings Keep Schools Safe that I posted on October 26, 2006 and the Roland’s Ramblings Cyberbully that I posted on April 1, 2007. You may read both of those blog entries simply by following the embedded link contained within the title of each.

I especially remember the message thread, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT BULLYING IS WRONG?, that I initiated March 30, 2012 on the internet website SwampBubbles. You may read that message thread, if you so wish, by following the embedded link contained within its title.

Posted in Blogs, Commentary, Communication, Education, Encore, Musing, People, Personal, Psychology, Sociology, Websites | Leave a comment

Roland Louis Hansen, The Wonder Years

Some thoughts about my early years growing up – The Wonder Years:

I was born in 1947 and grew up on East Northgate Parkway in the City of Toledo, Ohio and graduated from Whitmer Senior High School in 1965. For the most part, my growing-up years were during a period of time when everyone treated each other like family.

As young children and as adolescents, we went outside to play, we got dirty. We bought penny candy from the corner store. We played Red Light – Green Light, Red Rover, Simon Says, Hide and Seek, King of the Hill, Statue, Dodge Ball, Baseball, Basketball and Football. We could ride our bikes to the store, or the park, or down a country road and stay all day. We even swam in the nearby pond, the River Raisin across the State line in Michigan, and Lake Erie when we had the chance.

We ate hot dogs and beans, homemade (from scratch) macaroni and cheese, tomato soup, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, bologna sandwiches, and such for lunch at home. We carried lunch in brown paper bags to eat in the school cafeteria. We ate our meals as a family at a table together; and then, we cleared the dishes off the table and washed the dishes by hand and dried them with a cloth towel. We had chores to do around the house and yard.

We walked or rode a bike everywhere and never worried about safety. We never thought to lock our windows or doors at night.

We weren’t afraid of anything, except our parents. If we fell down, we would just get back up. We challenged each other from time to time. And if someone had a fight, that’s what it was, a fight, then, we got over it and played together again.

We respected our parents, our teachers, and our elders.

We left our houses as soon as we could in the morning and right after school until our neighbors would yell out for their children as a reminder to get in the house for the night. If one kid was called for dinner, then we all knew it was time to go home.

We watched our language around our elders because we knew If we disrespected any adult there would be a price to pay. We had manners and respect; otherwise, we knew that someone else’s parents would put us in our place.

I would not trade anything for the childhood we had, for we had enough; we had love and all that made us the adults we are today.

Postscript:
I received my undergraduate degree from the University of Toledo in 1969.
The year before, in 1968, Welsh folk singer Mary Hopkin had a Number 1 hit in the UK — “Those Were The Days” which was produced by Paul McCartney.

 

Addendum (April 17, 2017)

I remember small

 

Posted in Commentary, Community, Entertainment, Family, Friends, History, Nostalgia, People, Personal, Sociology | 9 Comments

If we could look into each others hearts

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Is Corned Beef Irish or Jewish?

St. Patrick’s Day is almost here, and we love it! We have shipped over one million pounds of corned beef in the past 3 weeks, as restau…

Source: Is Corned Beef Irish or Jewish?

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Toledoan Wade Kapszukiewicz was the Topic of a September 14, 2005 Toledo Talk Message Thread.

PREFACE

I wrote a Roland Hansen Commentary blog entry on Tuesday, March 14, 2017 entitled
Wade Kapszukiewicz, The Boy Who Would Be King. Toledo, Lucas County, Ohio.

You may read that commentary of mine if you go over to Roland Hansen Commentary and search for it; or, you may go directly to the entry itself by following the embedded link that is contained within its title in the opening sentence of this Roland’s Ramblings blog entry.

I ended that Roland Hansen Commentary with this sentence:

Open the embedded link to a message thread that was started September 14, 2005 on the message board of Toledo Talk that provides more scuttlebutt about Wade “Skippy” Kapszukiewicz.

Interestingly enough, though, for some reason that I do not understand, that embedded link does not load from the Roland Hansen Commentary blog entry, even though that exact same link opens immediately from comments I made in a message thread on my Facebook page. Ergo, that is the reason for this Roland’s Ramblings blog entry that now follows.

Just in case the URL [http://www. toledotalk.com/cgi-bin/comments.pl/16/1427]  for the September 14, 2005 Toledo Talk message thread entitled “Lucas County Treasurer Wade Kapszukiewicz”  is no longer on line or in the event that the URL stops displaying the information contained therein, I am placing below a copy of its text.

toledo talk
Discussing the news and events
in and around Lake Erie West
northwest ohio & southeast michigan

September 14, 2005
Lucas County Treasurer Wade Kapszukiewicz – This is a message thread to post your comments about Wade Kapszukiewicz, currently the Lucas County Treasurer, former Toledo City Councilperson, and former member of the Governing Board of the Lucas County Education Service Center.

posted by RolandHansen to politics at 3:42 P.M. EST (90 Comments)

Comments … Continue reading

Posted in Blogs, Commentary, Community, Current Events, Government, History, Nostalgia, People, Politics, Websites | 1 Comment

North Towne in Toledo, Ohio

I was raised in and I have made my home in an area of Toledo known known as North Towne. Originally part of Washington Township in suburban Toledo, Ohio, the area that became known as North Towne was annexed to the City of Toledo in the 1960s.

North Towne is bounded on the north by the Ohio/Michigan border, on the east by Detroit Avenue, on the south by Laskey Road, and on the west by a railroad spur line just west of Lewis Avenue and east of Jackman Road going north and continuing with an imaginary line to the Ohio/Michigan border.

Growth came to North Towne in the 1950s and steadily continued through the 1970s. The houses of the area reflect the popular designs of that time. Ranches, split-levels, and neo-colonial cottages are the dominant architectural styles. Many of the houses sit on large lots with broad front lawns, while the street system is laid on a grid pattern with limited access to major streets.

Situated in the center of North Towne is Mayfair Park, which features a baseball diamond, tennis courts, and a playing field. Fort Meigs Sertoma Park, also near central North Towne, has a baseball diamond, basketball court and tennis court for recreation.

North Towne is home to many commercial businesses. Alexis Road serves as the commercial corridor for the neighborhood, and many restaurants, small plazas and shops can be found all along this entire road that transverses the entire north side of Toledo, Ohio.

At the the intersection of Alexis and Lewis Roads alone, there is the North Towne Commons Shopping Center on the south side and the Alexis Park Shopping Center on the north side of that intersection. These two strip shopping centers provide lots of shopping opportunities to the community with a Kroger, a Target, a variety of retail stores, many restaurants including a Golden Corral, Lowe’s Home Improvement, The Home Depot, and many more retail goods and service establishments.

However, the former North Towne Square Mall that had opened in 1980 on the northeast corner of Alexis and Telegraph Roads was almost totally vacant by 2002, was closed down in 2005, demolished in 2013, and is now vacant land. The Super Fitness Center that occupied the mall’s former Montomery Ward anchor was not affected by the demolition.

From 1949 until 1957, North Towne had been the home of Raceway Park on the south side of Alexis Road between Telegraph Road and Detroit Avenue (aka Dixie Avenue) where Toledoans enjoyed stock car and midget car races and also demolition derbies. Then in 1958, Raceway Park was converted to a horse track where people enjoyed horse races on the weekends until 2013. In 2016, Ann Arbor Railroad bought the property, leveled it, paved it, fenced it in, and turned it into a new car storage faciity from which newly manufactured cars are trucked out to various retail sales locations throughout the country.

North Towne contains many of North and West Toledo’s major streets. Alexis Road runs east to Toledo’s industrial sector, another shopping center, hotels, restaurants, and the Point Place neighborhood, while the road heads west to Sylvania. Laskey Road also runs west to the Miracle Mile Shopping Center, and joins with Detroit Avenue to the east. Interstate 75 is accessed via the nearby on ramps east on Alexis Road or south off Detroit Avenue.

The average estimated value of detached houses in 2015 in North Towne was approximately $81,000.00. Approximately 9,300 people live in the neighborhood, and the median annual household income in 2015 for the North Towne community was $38,367.00.

Learn more about the North Towne Demographics at City-Data.com.

Posted in Community, Consumerism, History, Nostalgia, Personal, Places, Restaurants, Websites | 2 Comments